Five Steps to Managing the Aftermath of Sexual Assault
Rates of sexual assault are high—estimates are that between 1 in 6 women and 1 in 25 men in Australia have experienced at least one sexual assault since age 15.
When I say sexual assault, I am utilising the commonly accepted definition of the term in Australia, i.e., “Sexual assault is a type of sexual violence that involves any physical contact, or intent of contact, of sexual nature against a person’s will, using physical force, intimidation or coercion (ABS 2011; AIHW 2019a).”
The psychological impacts of sexual assault on victims can be far-reaching and often involve significant anxiety, fear, adjustment and mood difficulties, post-traumatic intrusions, and difficulties with intimacy and sexual functioning (Resick, 1993).
In my private practice, I work with people who have experienced a range of traumas. Sexual traumas and rapes appear to cut especially deep, perhaps because of the profound, interpersonal nature of the betrayal (the majority of my sexual assault survivor clients were harmed by someone they know) and the shame-filled rhetoric around the way we have historically discussed sex and sexual assault. Sometimes, people do not acknowledge to themselves or other people that they have been assaulted.
Often, the first time someone will say the words ‘assault’ or ‘rape’ will be in my presence, as an echo of what I have just said. Not naming what was inflicted on one can be highly protective for victims at the time of the assault—but is a form of denial of reality and will eventually break down.
When working with people who have been assaulted relatively recently, I like to work with five main principles to ensure good emotional processing and to hopefully protect someone from developing longer-term post-traumatic difficulties. These principles are:
1. Manage the physical impacts and collect evidence.
We often forget that assault can have some significant physical impacts. It is very important to seek medical support and gently tend to any wounds or injuries you may have received. Your body is hurt enough at present, and it is important to mitigate this by allowing it all it needs to heal. It can often be very difficult for sexual assault victims to allow someone else to touch them, especially if the injuries involve the genitals. Most doctors who work in this field will have specific training in supporting you through this and you should always be able to ask for a support person or a nurse to be present as well.
If the assault involved physical contact, then it may be important to complete a rape kit and collect any evidence that might exist. You don’t have to make any decisions about reporting this now—but it is helpful to have this evidence should you ever decide to report it.
You are allowed to ask for support people or chaperones to be present.
2. Know it wasn’t your fault.
I cannot stress this highly enough. One of the ways that people often try and protect themselves after an assault is by trying to explain the assault.
Believing that something you did caused the assault may be initially protective as it allows you to feel some control over what happened (i.e., if something you wore caused the assault, then if you don’t wear that again you will be safe), but will probably cause a lot of difficulties with anxiety and avoidance in the longer-term.
Absolutely nothing you did caused the assault and if you froze during the assault, it was a very natural response in the face of overwhelming danger. Lay the blame where it belongs, at the feet of the perpetrator.
3. Seek support.
It is very helpful to tell a few safe people what occurred and to seek professional support if you need it. This may be from your general practitioner, psychologist, or a sexual assault-specific service or hotline (such as 1800-RESPECT in Australia).
Some of these services are oriented toward servicing the needs of female victims and it may be especially difficult for male victims to overcome the stigma of reporting sexual assault and seeking support, but is just as important a step as for female victims. Men experience sexual assault too.
4. Allow your feelings.
People experience a range of feelings after a sexual assault, including numbness, anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, disgust, shock, horror, and shame. The only feeling I would encourage you to (gently) reject is shame—the shame is not yours.
Allow all that you are feeling, know that there is no right or wrong way to feel, and try not to push away or repress feelings. Write, paint, draw, talk, cry, yell. Do whatever you need to express yourself.
5. Give yourself time to process the assault, and expect and accept some impacts.
Sometimes people have expectations that they should be OK after an assault because they are strong or have lived through other difficult things. Sometimes people are OK after an assault, and sometimes people are not.
It is so important to allow space for whatever reaction you might have and to allow yourself time to process the assault, instead of pre-empting your response and trying to jump back into normal life.
Maintaining a semblance of normalcy in life can be helpful but it is also really helpful to allow that you might need some time away from normal or that things might not feel or be the same for a while. There is no way of predicting how you will respond to an assault and there is no one correct or 'normal' response.
Accessing professional support sooner rather than later can be helpful. This may involve a private psychologist, or from an organisation like the Centre Against Sexual Assault (CASA).
(This post was originally published on my blog at Psychology Today)
References
ABS (Australian Bureau of Statistics) 2011. Australian and New Zealand Standard Offence Classification (ANZSOC), 2011 (third edition). ABS cat. no. 1234.0. Canberra: ABS.
AIHW (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare) 2019a. Family, domestic and sexual violence in Australia: continuing the national story. Cat. no. FDV 3. Canberra: AIHW.
AIHW (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare) 2020. Sexual assault in Australia. Media Release. Canberra: AIHW.